St. Louis homers in the top of the first.

Is there such a thing as Live Tumbling? I’m Live Tumbling. Cubs fail to respond, still 2-0, bad guys. 

I hate St. Louis. Not the city, though I only know the city through the team, but I hate the team. An undeniably conservative team. So very Tom Brady, all appearance, shady underbelly. So very high school football team. The people they draft and trade for all seem to buy into the system, but I played on a high school football team and I gave all appearances of buying into the system and I resisted the dark side, so I can’t hate the individual players, although I do hate some of them. Not in like a wish-for-death sort of way, but pure sports hate.

Shit, what inning is it. Cubs are up again. Pitching for the Cardinals is John Lackey, who couldn’t be more perfect for this team. I’ve always hated Lackey. Announcers just said he looked into his dugout in disgust, and that’s what I’ve always disliked about him, his face seems graced with permanent disgust, a bucktoothy sneer, a bully’s face. He pitches inside like a bully, which itself is fine, being a bully pitcher, but his bully face takes all the dignity out of it. Mnyahhh, I’m a bully, see? Mnnyaahhh. And his posture is all shoulders, very hunchy, almost asthmatic, not that all major league pitchers are impeccable athletes but come on. Lackey carries himself like he’d lose a fight to wet paper and then complain about it, unfair, see? One of those kids, back in the day, call a foul on every drive to the basket, whine about the pick of the teams even when he was the picker.

Cubs first and second, pitcher batting. Nothing good can come– Jason Hammel singles! 2-1, two outs. Hammel I think is the x-factor in this series…

Javier Baez! Home run! Cubs lead 4-2! Suck on that, Lackey!

Actually I’m no Cubs fan, either. Anybody but the Cardinals. If the Cardinals never won another game, I would still relish every loss, every time. I don’t hold a lot of grudges, but this is one of them. I’m not even sure where it came from. I feel like I was born with it. The St. Louis arch makes me feel nauseous. I’ve never liked birds all that much. Busch sounds like a curse word from biblical times. Just, everything, everything about them sucks. I respect Ozzie Smith but I feel like he was in a situation he didn’t understand fully, like Phylicia Rashad on the Cosby Show. 

Two down in the top half of the third. Nobody on, seems like Hammel has settled down a bit. He just walked Heyward, but that may have been semi-intentional, what with the wind apparently pushing towards right field, give the power lefty nothing to work with.

My grandma likes the Cubs, or I thought she liked the Cubs because my grandpa liked the Cubs. I had a memory of my mom telling me her mom was still watching the Cubs and the Reds even after my grandpa passed, but I asked her about it a couple days ago and my mom said her mom probably wouldn’t have the interest to follow two teams. My grandpa though. Back in the early cable days – Heyward just got picked off first – WGN was one of the only cable stations, and they showed all the Cubs games, so. I remember being jealous of my grandparents’ cable because it included MTV, whereas our cable boasted only CMT and Nickelodeon, and I was quickly becoming too old for Nickelodeon and I longed to see what the Beavis and Butthead show was all about. I actually watched an episode or two once when staying at my grandparents’ house, which I always thought of as my grandma’s house, like it was her domain, I think because most of the time when we went there it was for holidays and thus meals and presents which were my grandma’s territory undeniably, but I couldn’t understand the appeal of the Mike Judge cartoon, and I was trying, really trying. The ugly animation, the music videos that seemed to be chosen more for their mockability than their musical merit. I didn’t get it. 

Well, writing warm-up achieved. Gretchen is home now. Time to go.